Sexcapades

12:57pm: So yesterday was the big 50th wedding anniversary for my grandparents. They were happy, I tried to pretty happy, it was okay.

I got bored and ate like 3 pieces of crappy vanilla cake though X_X now I feel sorta sick... or whatever.

But anyway, I went to the fair Friday. Saw Erin and Katy Peal. It was cool. They kinda ran away though cause they didn't like someone I was there with I guess... Meh.

I have a headache right now, and I'm (later) going over to my friends house in Mexico, NY to sleep over for 2 nights. It will be fun I hope.

That's all really.

Oh, and I had some wine yesterday. (Some as in a lot sort of...) It tasted like shit.

3:11pm: I'm sick of my parents badgering me to get a job. Just fucking sick of it. And for some reason my mom is obsessed with the idea of me working at wegmans... Jesus, I've told her enough times already: everyone I know that works there complains about how they never get enough shifts. That means no money. Pluuuus I dislike a lot of the people that work there.

But they don't get it. I will get a job, I just need to apply at places. And yet my mother seems to refuse to drive me anywhere to apply for a job... I don't get it. I'm not walking 5 freaking miles to apply at some goddamn store for minimum wage.

So last night, my father kinda started an argument with me about how I don't want to apply at wegmans... He basically told me if I don't get a job soon they're going to take away my $5 a week allowance and start charging me rent.

"Get a job... Do it soon or we're going to take away your allowance and charge you rent. That's what my parents did... I mean, you are 17, riiight??"

You have no idea how bad I wanted to just walk out right then and there. But then I would have no where to go. How lovely.

Hmmm... Also yesterday I tried to discuss with my mom about how they never seem to trust me about anything. (this was mainly about I can't ride anywhere in my friend's cars...) She refused to discuss it with me, as she had apparently "already told me their reasons hundreds of times before."

Yeah okay mom. Fine.

But I have some good news :D

Got $50 in the mail from my uncle as a belated birthday present, and also I may hang out with either Megan or Erin tonight. Joy.




Which is better:
Birds
Lizards
Movies
or Hats

12:57pm: Today I think I might go over to Corissa's house... But then again, that all depends on when she calls me as my parents prefer to know my plans way ahead of time. Either was, I'm really looking forward to tomorrow. I get to hang out with Erin for the 2nd time this week and FINALLY have some good fun together...

Okay, when I say fun what I mean is... Well, let's just put it this way, Lauren you will be disappointed with me. I'm sorry, I know I told you I wouldn't again but... Ugh, I like it.... I dunno DX

I don't feel like admitting it on here. It still makes me feel kind of.. embarressed maybe?

But anyway... My foot it asleep. Just thought you'd like to know. Also, I kind of have to wrap this entry up, as my time on the computer is timed from now on so that I'm not on it for so long... Or at least not as long as I used to be... Which when you think about it isn't really that long. But it's just another of those rules my parents made to keep my life limited.

They're starting to do that kind of thing, making the rules I mean, more and more these days. I think it's some sort of control issue, as in they like to run my life and know what I'm doing all the time. Okay, for instance the fact that a lot of my friends have cars and can drive. At first my parents were okay with it, cause they knew the friend was just driving me from point A to point B... But now that has changed. Even my dad has admitted it. He doesn't like that fact that he doesn't now what I am doing, or where, so from now on my friends can't drive me places.

Hmm... It seems I went on a small-itty-bitty rant. Well then, I should probably go now. It seems I can talk about my family issues forever these days...

4:21pm: I've been very bored lately... Actually, to be totally honest it's a mixture of boredom and depression. I don't get it, though. My friends are all great, I'm not dying or anything, I might get a job soon... It doesn't make sense. Why me, why now?

Now don't get me wrong, I am not in any way asking for pity. Ugh, it always irks me when you say you're depressed or whatever, and someone you barely know says "Oh, I'm sooo sorry." Ha, right. Like they even give two shits about how I feel.

And, as a side note, no I am not turning "emo." I had a discussion about that with a friend of mine which really pissed me off. Believe it or not, here is a difference between feeling depressed and the emo sub-culture...

I've contemplated just deleting this journal, as I really haven't used it except to take those stupid tests or to write down mundane "how-I-feel-right-now" entries. But then I just decided to leave them up there. It gives it more flavor I guess you could say... But anyway, back to my train of thought: I'm going to write real entries from now on, no more tests or blah-dee-blah posts. I need somewhere to vent my feelings. If it's on the internet, then so be it...

Alright, I guess I should talk about band right now, seeing as it is such a big part of my life. This year I'm a senior, so I get seniority over all the other bandies, even if they have been in it longer then me. Whoop-dee-doo. Also this year there is a new instructor for the pit (which is in the section I'm in. It's the part with the marimba, xylophone, etc... are in.) and I really don't know what to think of her. She manages to piss me off a great deal at time, but then is suddenly all loving and "oh-you're-doing-so-well" the next second. In a way I guess you could say she comes of as a fake person. At first I thought she had it in for me, but now I'm not so sure... Oh well, we shall see.

I'm quite delighted about the music we're doing this year, though. It's a mixture of percussion solos, weird Irish-jig sort of stuff, and (dun dun dunn) Bohemian Rhapsody. PLUS I get to play the bells for once in my life. That makes me pretty proud I guess, as I never thought I was good enough to play them... It may be a lot harder then just playing the toys, but it's worth it. I get to do more, and it actually sounds good, too.

Hmm... Enough of band... I've been having odd dreams lately. The one last night was about a certain friend of mine who I haven't talked to in person in quite some time... It made me want to call them up and hang out today, but alas, they are going to college in a day or so... I always wait too long I guess.

Well, have to make a CD cover for my Dad. Might as well get off.

10:24am: whatev
I hate this thing, but I like taking these shitty quizzes... *sigh*

HOW STUPID AM I

[] i have walked into a glass/screen door.

[x well, not on my face] i have tripped on my shoelace and fallen on my face.

[x] i have choked on my own spit.

[ ] ive seen the Matrix a bunch of times and still don't get it.

[ ] I only use my pointer finger on my right hand..

[x kind of] i type only with my pointer fingers.

[x] i have accidently caught something on fire.

[ ] ive told a cop to fuck off and gotten screwed for it.

[x] i attempted to sip out of a straw but it accidently went into my nose, rather than my mouth.

[x] sometimes when i think of something funny, i laugh out loud and people look at me weird.

[x when i wake up] ive caught myself drooling.

[x] ive accidently caused an explosion.

[ ] if someone says the word "fart", i cant help but laugh.

[x] ive turned into a "do not enter" one way road plenty of times.

[x] sometimes i just. . .stop thinking & zone out.

[ ] it is POSSIBLE to lick your elbow.

[ ] i just tried to lick my elbow....sadly

[ ] people often shake their heads and walk away from me.

[x] people often/sometimes tell me to use my "inside voice".

[x] gum has fallen out of my mouth while talking.

[x]ive used my fingers to do simple math.

[ ] ive jumped off a moving vehicle.

[ ] i ate a bug for $5 or less.

[x] im taking this test when i should be doing something more important.

[ ] i repost chain letters because im scared of what they threaten will happen if i dont.

[ ] i've peed my pants when i was drunk.

[ ] i've ran around naked when i was drunk.

[ ] i've ran into a golfcart tire when i was drunk.

[x] i've searched all over the place for something, and then realized it was in my hand the whole time.

[x] i accidently break a lot of things.

[ ] my friends know not to use big words around me.

[ ] my friends like me because im fun to laugh at.

[ ] i move my head to the side when im confused.

[x] sometimes i start telling a story and suddenly forget what im talking about.

[x] ive fallen out of my chair before.

[x]when im laying in bed, i sometimes stare at the ceiling and try to find pictures and words in the texture.

once you get your answer multiply by three and repost as "I'm __% stupid".

I am 57% stupid...

6:22pm: right now i'm fucking bored

i hate babysitting

i hate my life

i hate my family

...

i like my cat, though, he's pretty cool...

):

3:27pm: jdfhwiufhwiofhjwoiwui

3:23pm: my love
I love poetry, and I think I just found a poet I've fallen in love with.

(not sexually... moron.)

I don't usually like reading poetry by any famous poets, I like the obscure ones no one knows about all that well... But a few days ago I read a book of poetry by e e cummings and OHMYGOD

I FRICKING LOVE IT

<3

Here's a favorite:

sweet spontaneous
earth how often have
the
doting

fingers of
prurient philosophers pinched
and
poked

thee
, has the naughty thumb
of science prodded
thy

beauty, how
often have religions taken
thee upon their scraggy knees
squeezing and

buffeting thee that thou mightest conceive
gods
(but
true

to the incomparable
couch of death thy
rhythmic
lover

thou answerest

them only with

spring)

4:23pm: bad days come and go, but this one's here to stay
I can use the computer now. But that's rather obvious.

This week was pretty uneventful, due to my recent grounding. Short story is, I got a ride home from a friend. Mom and Dad don't like me getting driven anywhere by anybody but themselves and a few choice adults (and they had already warned me about getting driven home) and Dad caught me. I got in trouble. Boo hoo.

The week before this one was rather eventful, that is, until I got caught.

Blah blah...

Mom took me to some doctor guy, and I've been diagnosed with some form of ADHD, although how he come to that conclusion is beyond me. I'm not all that hyper a person, I'm actually quite lazy.

*ahem, very lazy*

Oh well, I don't really care. I just am kinda worried if he prescribes me medication, as I don't have ADHD.

Anyways, I've been down in the dumps lately. Got in a fight with a vey good friend of mine last week/weekend and it didn't end well... (it's even worse cause they're my neighbor) But they're going away to college (out of state) so I'll never see them again, so it's ok...

I hope...

Umm... That's not the only reason I'm depressed, it's just the only one I feel like blabbing about. Some things should be kept secret.

auf wiedersehen

8:02pm: Feh, I'm in one of those moods again. Rant time. (sort of...)

You know what I hate? I hate those teens, the ones who are all "sk8er boi/grl" or "gawfic" or whatever that are all "OMG I HATE GOERGE BUSH!!!!111 HE IS SOOOO STUPID!!!!!"

Oh puh-leaze. Like you even know anything about George Bush and his presidency. (And no, chain letters from myspace do NOT count as information about G.W.) I think it's just natural for them to want to rebel against something, so they choose the most obvious (in my oppinion besides the school) candidate for the job. Oh fucking joy.

But whatever, at least they aren't burning down buildings or raping old ladies...

But then again, maybe I'm just an oddball for a teenager, cause I do read the paper every day and watch those "boring" political channels and research stuff before declaring my side on an issue. I guess I'm just an idiot for caring about our future.

Did you know we will run out of oil in under 50 years? It's a sure thing.

Did you know the auto industry already has the technology to produce a hydrogen powered automobile for everyone in the country right now? Sure the cars would be about $3k more then a regular gas powered car, but it would only take about 50 cents to fill up the WHOLE tank.

So, the thing I'm wondering, is why haven't we made the switch? Gas prices are only going to get worse. They're almost to three bucks a pop once again.

Yeah, I kind of went on a rant like this to one of my friends. They said why should they care, it's not like it will affect them.

Oh my fucking god, can someone get anymore stupid? YOU WILL STILL BE ALIVE IN 50 YEARS MORON.

Okay, I just thoroughly pissed myself off. Time to go drink a coke.

7:55pm: I've come to the realization(sp?) that I'm not a very nice person sometimes. Heck, I just got a retarded guy to call me a bitch.

Now there's some class-A asshole-ish talent right there.

Yeah... Not much happened today... But I did find out that I just have to reapply at this one place and they'll hire me. It's a fishfry/ice-cream place. I'll smell like fish. Forever. Can't wait!!!!!!!!!

So I was thinking about conformity and rebellion today and I thought of something somewhat ironic. Black is the color of rebellion and nonconformity, while white is considered the oppisite. But black technically is all the colors mixed into one. In a sense, it's a "conformed" color. (ie conformity) And white is the exact oppisite, as all the colors reflect off of it. (ie nonconformity) So why is black the symbal of rebellion on nonconformity if it is anything but?

Maybe cause black is the "slimming color" and all the nonconformists are fatt-os? (It's something I said earlier... Long story, no need for details.)

Oh oh, and I have a classic example of the typical Jackie-quote:

"Oh, that chocolate is dark. Is it dark chocolate?"

(I didn't bother spell-checking this. So kill me.)

8:08pm: I'm alive
So I've been grounded from the computer since forever. And I got friend requests from the same person five frickin times.

Reject.
Reject.
Reject.
Reject.
Reject.

I'm not in a very good mood right now. I ate some shitty chinese stuff at the mall, and now I'm sick. Joy. Saw a movie with some friends, it was She's the Man. It sucked. I do not recommend seeing it, unless of course you are the type of person that likes cliche movies with totally predictable scenes.

I'm such a bitch. The people I went with loved the fucking movie. They even said afterwards that it was "hilarious" and that they'd "so rent it".

*gag*

But anyways, more about my life. Oh what fun. Let us frolick like little school boys chasing a butterfly.

M'aky. So there was drumline practice this morning. It sucked. I have some stupid cymbal part I have to do now, and they put me right in the center and told me to do bursts. (I feel like a windmill when I do the bursts...) And Eric always complains about Chris, cause the dude smells like shit and needs to learn to actually try to keep time... And Megan bitches about Jen and whoever else... And Drew's cymbal broke... And the chinaboy (it's kind of like a suspended cymbal) has a big broken part... And our bitchy instructor that sometimes comes in is all sending us deathglares...

And now my foot is asleep.

And I sound like I whiny bitch.

*sigh*

Saw sexpot yesterday. It was depressing. I still blieve in him, like I said before, fuck fredonia. (I expect to hear a song composed by him with the same name hopefully soon) I didn't think he would even talk to me or Megan (which is who I went with to visit him) and at first he didn't. But then he later started to becoome the mr. ego we both know and love.

4:24pm: this was pretty accurate
( Accurate Test Thingy )

8:22pm: penises
I'm still wondering about the plural version of "penis"

cause that word still sounds awkward: penises.

I don't now why, but lately I'm in the mood to write poems. A LOT of poems. Maybe it's cause I've been in a bad mood lately? Hmm, at least they aren't emo poems.

I can never say that word right.

Emo.

EEEEMMMMMOOOOO


Today in chem (first block) I had one of those what-the-hell-am-I-doing moments. I was going to sharpen my pencil in the pencil sharpener, and I grabbed it to move it closer to me (cause it's an electric one) and I instead grabbed the cup with the pencil shavings in it and spilled it all over the pirnter. The Hilt man (my teacher) wasn't too mad... I think... But I had to clean it up so I had lead crap all over my fingers the whole day.

I was told in lunch that I had a grey mark on my face. Turns out it was from the lead on my fingers... I wonder how long it was there D:


So right now I'm listening to this band my friend told me about: Infected Mushroom. They're pretty awesome. Now I just want to rave. But I need a glowstick for that. Blah.

I came up with a new question to ask people Monday, and it's not some stupid sex question like I've been asking. You actually have to think about this one.

Myabe I'm getting better at this?

8:03pm: 20% girly... joy
( myspace thing... whatever )

3:12pm: I... hate the world?
Ugh, these damn mood swings are getting to be quite annoying. I was told by this kid in health that it looks like I hate the world.

But I don't hate the world D:

I just get pissed off too easily...? But ya know what? I don't even know why I was pissed off. And I know it's not fricking PMS... HAha, maybe I'm going through menopause XD

Maybe I was just really pissed off cause it was health class and I was bored. Meh...

Oh wow, was that basketball game last night ever a thriller... I thought we were so going to lose, but then Roberts takes the shot... and WTF HE MADE IT??!! I would never have expected that from him. It's kind of amusing how when watching sports you can go from "WHAT THE FUCKING HELL DAMMIT" to "OH FUCKING YESSS" in 2 seconds flat.

D: --2--> XD

Yeah. Picture diagram. Woot.

So tonight we're going out to eat somewhere. I don't think I'll have a good time as my Father is in a piss-poor mood today, which means he'll take it out on either my brother or me... Usually it's me... But it's only verbal abuse, so I can take that. Geez, if he ever tried to beat me or anything, I would so not stand there and take it... I'd try and fight back... and probably get hurt even worse D:

Well, at least he's not stoned and in a bad mood. That's always a plus I suppose.

Ugh, my lizard needs more crickets and I don't feel like getting anymore today... They raised the price from 10 cents each to 16 cents each... I know that doesn't sound like a lot, but it sure seems like a lot when you have to buy 5 dozen and don't have a lot of money...

I need a job...

But I don't want to get one...

Blah. I complain too much.

7:54pm: 98 <3
Got the scores back on our English Regents today, and I'm really surprised with mine. (but in a good way) I usually don't do so good on many of the essays and crap we have to write in English (maybe cause I'm lazy?) but it's an honors class so we do a lot of writing crap D:

Anyways, I sit in the back, and as the teacher was reading out the grades all I could remember thinking was "Yeah, I'm probably gonna get an 85... sigh" cause everyone was getting like 94's or around there. And then I find out HOLY SHIT I got a 98

0.0

I can feel all egotistical for a few days now. Oh joy.

And my friend is getting all pissed cause she got a fricking 92. Oh boo hoo, you still got an A... Is she pissed cause I actually beat her at something for once?

Blah... I hate competition between friends...

Actually, I think I know why she's all pissed. Mr. Ego told us he would buy us each a pizza if we got over his English regents grade (which was a 96 I think, or around there...) and I guess she really wanted to beat him? Whatever...

But it's not like it's the end of the world... It's just a pizza.

Which is round, just like the world. And it will soon meet it's doom cause it shall be eaten.

I'm not making any sense now... New topic!

Actually, I think I'm all done. I spent this whole journal entry talking about pizza and grades. (Wow, Jackie.) And now I'm all out of topics.

Whatever.

7:33pm: so...
I was actually pretty happy today. I even got hit on my a lesbian. Oh yaaahhh...

Hmm... My day...

Well, the bus almost missed me again. I say almost because she saw me standing at the busstop at the last second. And then she opens the doors and says I have to get out there earlier.

I was out there before you drove past bitch.

Yeah, that was the only bad thing that happened. It was kind of strange, me being happy the whole day I mean... Maybe I'm manic depressive? LOLZ, that would be crappy.

And this kid brought a gun to school that he bought off some other kid today. All these people on myspace keep on posting this OMG WTF chainletter about it. Pssh, like that will do anything. Oh, let's all bitch about what happened today in a chain letter. Yay.

First we get bomb threats. (just like every year...)

Then some dude tried to burn the school down. While everyone was in it...

And now some jackass brings a gun to school. That is a gun with one bullet in it... Who was it meant for? Hmmm, I'll just watch the news. Like I do every morning. Cause I'm strange.

I watch News Channel 9, and every morning they have the "breakfast of champions" picture thingy. (it's where you send in a picture of someone you feel is awesome, or if it's their b-day, or anniversary, etc...) But I've always wanted to send my picture to it, just for laughs, and write some lame "Jackie-is-the-secks" paragraph about myself.

Ha, that's like sending yourself flowers, or buying yourself chocolates on V-day.

I'm so lame. :D

Oh yeah, and I almost forgot, there actually is some more bad news. I got my lunch moved to middle lunch EVERY FRICKIN DAY

WHY???

I so need to talk to my guidance lady.... Scarcella I think her name is? Ugh, that lady's a bimbo >.<

Oh wow, family drama just occured. Apparently my brother is suspended from school for 3 days. And it's a Catholic school. Wow, he's such a badass. And my Dad is either drunk or stoned and yelling at him. Joy.

I think I shall go now... No use getting my inhibited Father angry at me for whatever...

3:59pm: survey yo
( survey )

3:45pm: random thought
OK, so this article about rape in my Mom's magazine just got me thinking...

Say this guy is about to rape me. I turn to him calmly, and say, "Hey, do whatever you want, it's not like I give a shit. I've got AIDS anyway."

Would he still rape me?

Random, I know, but I just had to put it down so I can address it later...

11:08am: okcupid stuff
( tests y0 )

4:40pm: So I was thinking today...
So I was thinking today, why not post about myself in here, too? Quizzes are just boring and stupid.

(yeah, maybe that's why I do them when I'm bored. duh)

Yeah, so anyways, today was boring. Had drumline practice, which sucked BTW. We had to practice in the school's auditorium cause people were taking the SATS in the lunchrooms or whatever... Boy was that ever a nightmare getting the instruments down the stairs... >.<

Yeah, see, the thing is we usually wheel them down the hallway which is loads easier... But we are filled to the brink with immature highschool boys, so it takes about 10 minutes to do this... Plus we're very noisy cause we must talk, scream, and ride on the instruments...

So in a way, I suppose I can undersand why they made us use the stairs. But that doesn't mean I will :D

So some people weren't there, and it was really boring. But then again, I get bored really easy... Hmm...

My friend likes hair boy (that's just his nickname) and she wants me to talk to him for her... I hate when people do this to me. What the hell am I supposed to say?

"My friend likes you. kaythnxbai."

Haha. No.

Ugh, I've been trying to get down about 2,500 words a day for my novel... but... writer's block has struck and my creativity level has gone to a -45...

M'kay. I shall go now. Whatwever.

5:04pm: HOW MUCH HAVE YOU LIVED?- surveyyyyy
( HOW MUCH HAVE YOU LIVED? survey )

8:34pm: hippie
( i r hippie )

7:00pm: QuizFarm
( quizfarm shtuffsh )